How To Spot A Toxic Wife

The UK Telegraph had an interesting article on a new breed of Toxic Wives. Their sole aim in life is to find a rich husband, had a kid and then get a divorce and milk him for half of his wealth.

According to Susie Ambrose, who runs a ''gold-digger-vetting'' agency there are

increasing amounts of women who are desperately materialistic and who have learnt the art of ''faking love''. They don't want to marry for emotional support, intimacy or companionship; they are driven by monetary rewards.

Unfortunately, with the global financial meltdown, TWs are having a rough time with their rich husbands suddenly going broke overnight. The result is to try and take 100% of whatever is left.

Well, in order to save yourself the heartbreak and financial ruin, here's some tips on How to spot a Toxic Wife:

1 Women who are secure in themselves and have a more developed emotional intelligence and personal depth do not feel the need to show off. Check whether or not she is festooned with 'designer' accessories. Listen carefully to what she says. How often does she name-drop?

2 On first acquaintance, she will want to find out if you're rich or not. If you find yourself discussing your assets within the first 10 minutes you know her agenda. She is not going to waste time on you if you don't have serious money.

3 She will flirt without first finding out if you're married or involved with someone else. She has no scruples about stealing another woman's man.

4 Even though she may have an impressive job, her main asset is sex. She will come on in a highly provocative manner, be wearing lots of make-up and revealing clothes. Potential toxic wives are extremely clever. Do not equate intelligence with emotional values and worth.

5 Often she will use the FSFM tactic (feel sorry for me). This will manifest itself on the second or third date. She wants to assess how generous you can be and will tell you how ''naïve" she is and how "misled'' by some nasty people she owes money to. As a chivalrous male, you get out your chequebook.

6 You must find out how motivated she is. Ask her what her future goals, dreams and aspirations are.

7 Toxic gold-diggers tend to target older men. And your level of physical attractiveness makes no difference. Do you genuinely wildly arouse her or is this all an act?

8 She will choose the most expensive item on the menu or the most expensive drink.

9 Men, who have been recently widowed or divorced are great prey. You are at your most vulnerable.

10 Before you marry, go on holiday together or spend at least some time co-habiting. Remember, if you make a mistake you will pay for it for the rest of your life.

Here's a funny email from Bill Bonner author of Mobs, Messiahs, and Markets: Surviving the Public Spectacle in Finance and Politics, a wildly entertaining book on history of manias, investing and finance that I'm currently reading right now.

“Don’t you know there’s a worldwide financial meltdown?” we asked Elizabeth last night. “This is no time to be buying new furniture.”

“Well, I needed a new desk. But I’m not buying anything else.”

“Aren’t you picking up a new horse trailer tomorrow?”

“Yes, but I ordered that before the crisis hit. When I thought you had some money...before you started worrying about going broke.”

The phone rang.

“Who was that?” we asked a few minutes later.

“That was the curtain man. I need to get new drapes for the living room.”

“What’s wrong with the old drapes?”

“They’re just not right.”

“They’ve been okay for the last 13 years...what’s suddenly not right about them?”

“They’ve never been right...and I’ve finally realized what it is...so I’m going to change them.”

“Don’t you realize that there’s a global financial crisis? This is no time to be spending money.”

“Yes, but the crisis is likely to go on for 10 years...and I don’t want to live with drapes that aren’t right for a whole decade...and then buy them after we’re too old to enjoy them.”

“You’re not one of those ‘toxic wives,’ are you? You know, those women who leave their husbands after they lose their money.”

“Don’t be silly. You didn’t have any money when I married you. And I’ll stick with you even if you go broke. We may not have any money. But at least we’ll have nice curtains to look at. That’s why I’m getting them now...while you’ve still got some money left.”